Comments on: It Happened to a Nice Christian Girl

By: Left Behind: The Emotional Aftermath - Joe Dallas Online

Left Behind: The Emotional Aftermath - Joe Dallas Online — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:26:46 +0000

[...] know these women. In some ways I’ve been all of them, partially because of my own experiences. (For my testimony, click here) But by God’s grace I’ve learned I can do, and be, better. And that’s what I wish for any [...]

By: Jeanine Lyons

Jeanine Lyons — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:46:46 +0000

Hi Renee,
I often hear your voice telling me that the healing will take time. The waiting for that is the hardest part. I saw something about people who have post traumatic stress disorder being “stuck” in the trauma. I guess that’s where I’m at. Everyday is a struggle, but knowing that I have you and others in my life to lift me up on the worst days and pray for me helps me to weather the storm. Thanks for all your love and support. I hope God will use my struggles to help others someday the way He has used you and your trials to help me and many others.
Love & prayers, Jeanine

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 19:56:50 +0000

Teresa,
I think the questions of “When did I become not good enough?” is one of the hardest to ask and to answer. Intellectually, we know that much of a husband’s behavior towards porn or other sexual sins stems from their own issues, not ours. But emotionally it’s harder to buy that, isn’t it? As wives, partners and Christian women, we enter marriage with the idea that we’re forming a bond in love and that he will cling to us (no others) and we will cling to him only. If he really loved us, why the lying, why can’t he answer straightforward questions? Somewhere, our intuitive nature tells us something’s wrong and so many times it’s just a matter of time until that feeling is confirmed.

Many women find themselves staying in the marriage because of thieir children – but if they decide to do this, they have to consider how they will do it and at the same time maintain a healthy emotional and spiritual life — not only for themselves, but for their children. There are a load of decisions and things to consider, and none of them come easy. That’s why you need support — I will let you know when the next WB grup starts again, and please keep in touch with this website as well. But for now, I would suggest getting some help from you local pastor, women’s group leader or a Christian counselor in your area. If you can’t find anyone, I also do individual support with women who find themselves in between groups. You can find more information on this website under the “Support Group” tab. Please email me if you’d like to pursue this. I know the ladies who comment here will keep you in thier prayers, as will I. Blessings. -R

By: Mona

Mona — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:19:20 +0000

I have been searching for a site like this. It has been only nine months since the discovery and disclosure of my husbands affair. He is seeking recovery and we are still together because of Gods promise, “ashes to Joy.” I pray (and cry) everyday for strength to become the women the Lord wants me to be. The “Just for Today” list is with me at all times, it remind me of my responsibilty to myself. The pain is overwhelming sometimes but I now know I am not alone. Thank you for this wonderful ministry. I look forward to being a part of a Wifeboat group someday . . . . . to share Joy.

By: Renee

Renee — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 22:59:09 +0000

Lala,
I’m glad you found help in these blog posts and comments. Please stay in touch and let us know how you’re doing from time to time. I’ll also keep you updated on when the next groups will be staring, in March of next year, and will keep you and your marriage in prayer. Blessings, R

By: lala

lala — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 17:09:10 +0000

Joy amidst sorrow, that’s one of God’s promise that I can testify to right now. I just found out this week about my husband homosexual affairs. During the darkest moment of my life, God was faithful to keep his promise to me. He provided me a way out and support to overcome this trial. My husband choose to get help and asking for help and I choose to take him back because of my love for him and my strong faith in God. This website and the stories of other women who went through the same problem helped strengthen my hope. Please pray for our recovery and thank you for the support. God bless!!!

By: Rick

Rick — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:41:23 +0000

Would it be reasonable for a “nice Christian guy” (please note that I don’t claim to fit this description) to wonder “Are there any normal women out there?” I think every person is normal yet not normal. We are all human and we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Author Terrence Real believes that in most couples there is a blatant offender (it’s obvious what this person is doing wrong), and the other member is a latent offender (this person’s behavior does not appear to be a problem although it does contribute significantly to the relationship issues). I think men are designed in a way that often results in them being the blatant offender. Conversely, women are often latent offenders. Each gender sees the relationship from their skewed perspective, and each side wonders how they got into a relationship with this abnormal person. Someone has said “You can’t have a perfect marriage when you have two imperfect people.” Marriage is at its best when both spouses are willing to work at the marriage and willing to let God work in the marriage and their individual lives.

By: Renee

Renee — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:57:39 +0000

Dianne,
Thanks for your kind words. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to share not only what happened to me, but (more importantly) the comfort and grace I received from the Lord. And as it says in 2 Corninthians 1:3-4:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God.”

And as far as greatness, I think we all agree, He’s the Great One! And when His comfort overflows from us to others, it’s His Greatness that becomes evident. He is so good to allow us to be used in that way.

If you’d like to send me a personal email, just go to the Contact Form on this site and I’ll receive it personally. I look forward to hearing from you — how awesome that we can communicate being so far away! Blessings! -R

By: Dianne Padilla

Dianne Padilla — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:38:06 +0000

Hi My name is Dianne, I live in Sydney Australia. I would love to let you know how refreshing is your ministry called WIFEBOAT and to say that greatness comes through great pain. Reading your story, yes there is lots of pain, but lots of greatness in reaching a world of need. Is there a email where I can talk to you personally? Thanks.

By: Renee

Renee — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:58:37 +0000

Yolanda,
I’m not a lawyer, but I take it if you have received sole custody of your kids, then they are allowed to see thier father at your own discretion. If your husband signed and agreed to that, then it sounds like he (at least at the time) preferred to have them in your care.

The answer to your question depends on how young the children are, if your husband decides he wants a relationship with them and if the agreement between you two can be renegotiated. Also, there may come a time when the children want a relationship with thier father as well, (or at least ask questions) so when that time comes, you’ll have to think carefully about how you address that with them. I always suggest being as truthful and loving as possible, as is age-appropriate.

In general, I think kids should have a relationship with thier fathers, even if it’s a limited or controlled one, barring any extenuating circumstances that would prohibit it, (i.e. anger issues, exposure to inappropriate behavior or material, drugs, etc.) But only you know the specifics of your own circumstances, so you have to go with what you’re comfortable with. When the time comes, my suggestion is to consult a good family law attorney because they would know the current law and how to structure the visitation so that you feel your kids are in a good environment.

Yolanda, we do discuss how to handle issues related to children during the WifeBoat Support Group sessions, and I love to have you take part. Our next group will be starting in July and will run for 12 weeks. Please stay in touch with the website for upcoming details.

I know we’ll all keep you in prayer as you go forward raising your kids. Please keep in touch. -R