Seven Habits of Highly Effective Moms

It’s hard to be a wife and Mom these days.  Our culture is so full of confusing messages trying to define for us what a woman should be that trying to navigate through them allMom and Daughter feels like living in a minefield!

There are lots of people holding themselves up as models for us to follow. For instance, there are the Real Housewives whose drama lets us into their private financial issues, plastic surgeries and rocky relationships. Then there’s the woman CEO who writes a book telling us how to make it in a man’s world; and there’s the Media Maven who dispenses a mix of pseudo psychology and religion into our homes every day.  All of these seem to be holding up a standard beckoning us to follow them and pursue their vision of what our best life should be.

Many of us feel uneasy listening to their advice, given the chaotic results we see.  But we still aren’t sure what direction to take and what really works! Where can we get a reliable road map for the journey?

The Bible gives us of an example of someone who operated out of a deep core of strength and dignity.   In the book of Proverbs chapter 31:10-31, she’s described as “a woman of noble character” whose price is “far above rubies”!  She is loved and valued in her family and community and she possesses the qualities many of us yearn for, but often are not sure how to find. Her example provides a template we can choose to emulate, not because she was a “goddess” or perfect, but because she lived on a set of principles that will never pass away.  And those principles can be incorporated into our daily lives with an outcome of a productive, grace-filled and satisfying life.
Here are just a few of our Noble Lady’s key traits, and how you can consider applying them:

1)      She is honest and competent (v11-12) Our lady is strong emotionally and spiritually, and proudly serves her family, giving them her best efforts. She shows it by being intentional and thoughtful.  Her honesty, respect and consideration cause her husband and family to feel safe with her.

2)      She adds value (v17-19) Although she takes care of herself, her family doesn’t lack because of it.  Their emotional and physical needs are met and they benefit and grow from her thoughtfulness and hard work. She is purposeful about her work and priorities.

3)      She is entrepreneurial (v16)  Being creative and innovative is part of her life; in fact she is constantly looking for ways she can be productive in her business life, turning her passions into profit and using this to creatively nurture her home. (v24)

4)      She loves and cares for her family (v21) She makes and takes the time to care for her family. Their emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being is a priority and their home is a place of warmth and safety.  Her children are confident and secure.

5)       She generously ministers to the poor.(v20) This verse tells us “she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy”. This lady doesn’t live in her own little world, but stays sensitive to those who are less fortunate.  She passes on these values on to her family, and looks for opportunities to volunteer and help others with food, homework or finances when needs arise.

6)      She is kindhearted (v26) The word “noble” in this passage implies “having elevated principles and adhering to them with greatness of mind and soul, as manifested in generously overlooking injuries”.  Her first principle is to love the Lord with all her heart, mind and strength, and to love others as herself. She is committed to love not just in words, but in practice. Her heart is full of kindness towards those around her, even those who are difficult, and she communicates interest in other people’s stories and lives.

7)      She is blessed and respected by her family and in the community (v28) This lady isn’t looking for recognition, but she stands out because of the way she conducts her life. Her wisdom and accomplishments are an outgrowth of the graceful strength of her heart. So they celebrate with her –she finds satisfaction and meaning as her good works return back to her with appreciation and love.

Thinking about her traits can seem a little intimidating – after all, who can be like this all of the time?  But as you consider this Noble Lady, I hope you’ll take the time to pray and ask the Lord to show you how you can incorporate some of these qualities into your own life.  She may seem a little too good to be true, but her life is given to us as a model of what God can do in our lives.

So instead of trying to follow some of the cultural cues we’re constantly bombarded with and finding ourselves in a minefield, let’s use the Nobel Lady Roadmap!  Soon we’ll find ourselves reaping the rewards of a God honoring life. – R

For MomsNEXT, Newport Mesa Church 2013



  1. Ginger Haan says:

    Hi Renee, I recently ‘logged on’ to both your posts and Joe’s; didn’t realize they would come automatically; so great that they do! Love your thoughts on the Proverbs 31 woman. If we wives/moms can just pick two of her outstanding qualities, work of them, then another two, and so on, with God’s help we can move in the direction of that beautiful biblical model. Thanks!!

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