One of the things that I find comes up in coversations with wives over and over again is the issue of a husband's ambivalence towards his recovery. On the one hand they seem to say, "Yes, I'm sorry for what I've done, and I don't like the consequences of it." and on the other side, their actions (or lack thereof) seem to say, "But I don't want to give it up--it feels too good, it's become too important to me". The wife finds herself in an excruciating state of frustration. While he seems to be giving lip-service to what he knows to be right, Continue Reading
April 3, 2012 By
Three Obstacles to True Forgiveness
For a wife who is dealing with her husband’s sexual sin, part of the process of forgiveness includes coming to an understanding of what she has truly lost by the betrayal, and then beginning to release the debt of the offense against her. If she doesn’t go through this process, I’m not sure she can truly say “from her heart” she has truly forgiven. (Matthew 18:32-35) But forgiveness can be a challenge because the hurt may still resonate, and the emotions and fears combine to add confusion as to what true forgiveness looks like. Here are Continue Reading
February 14, 2012 By
Recycle My Heart: A Valentine’s Day Prayer
It wouldn’t be fitting to leave you “postless” on St. Valentine’s Day. I have ruminated about what to say today to the women who read this blog; women who have been hurt by spouses in ways that make them feel… less like a Valentine and more like a discarded newspaper. Once upon a time, interesting, but today--old news. I remember feeling like that. Valentine’s Day was particularly difficult for me when I went through the painful rejection in my first marriage. (See It Happened to a Nice Christian Girl) After all, the day is all about Continue Reading
December 30, 2011 By
Left Behind: The Problem
I've been wanting to explore the issue of abandonment for several months now, because it seems to be an issue that comes up again and again during the WifeBoat Support Groups. Here's Part I of a guest post I did for my husband's blog, JoeDallasOnline.com. Look for Part II next week, when I address how to move from fear-based relating to more a God-centered and secure way of dealing with fear of abandonment. Blessings, R. Left Behind: The Problem Can you imagine a little girl raised in poverty because her father squandered the family Continue Reading
August 11, 2011 By
What the Heck Was He Thinking?
I think this post on a husband's mind set will help some of you ladies understand how a guy--a Christian guy no less -- can get in so over his head with the use of porn, and other sexual sins. My husband's post today explains it very well - check it out and let me know what you think! The Compartmentalizer Year after year I’ve heard wives agonize over the deliberate, devastating choices their husbands have made. “What was he thinking?” they’ll cry, “and how could he do a thing like that if he loved me?” The conclusion they often come to – Continue Reading
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